Friday, November 22, 2002
DAILY DIATRIBE: BLOGGING HIATUS
I hope I don’t disappoint too many of my readers, but I’m going on a hiatus from Cornfield Commentary. I’m loathe to do this right now, as my blog seems to be coming into its own. Yet, I really need to.
The primary reason is a word that plagues most graduate students: dissertation. I’ve been working on it off and on for the last year, while also working at the Public Interest Institute and maintaining this site. It is nearing completion. Four chapters are in rough draft form, awaiting revisions. Just recently, I realized that another chapter may be necessary for it to be complete. Time is running short and it needs to be finished within the first few months of next year.
Unfortunately, the website does take an average of two to three hours per day to maintain. If I put those hours into the dissertation for the next few weeks, I will almost certainly finish it. That is what I intend to do.
The time seems right. Nothing of enormous importance is happening in the news right now. The election is over, the war against Saddam has not yet started, and the new legislative session, both for Congress and Iowa, won’t begin until January. Hence, I can put the website on hiatus right now and probably not miss much.
That doesn’t mean that there won’t be an occasional posting on Cornfield Commentary in the next few weeks should something rather momentous occur. Hopefully, there will also be some articles at the American Prowler and Blogcritics. But other than that, this blog won’t be back in full force until early January.
Thus far, maintaining a blog has been overwhelmingly positive. A big reason is I've met a lot of nice people through it. So to all the folks who have read my blog, posted comments, sents emails, or given me links: Thank you.
See you in January.
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Thursday, November 21, 2002
MORE CRUNCHY GRANOLA
I've found even more posts on Ms. Crunchy Granola Pants' column. Both Chuck Simmins and Amish Tech Support have takedowns. Meanwhile, Shade-n-Froyduh makes some late entries into the contest. There is also some late entries in the comments section. To see the contest winners, go here.
UPDATE: There was another one at Shellshocking. Boy, I've found a lot of sites that I was unaware of. Looks like I've got some work to do on the blogroll. But not just now.
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A VOICE FROM THE PAST
To my surprise and delight, I received an email today from Michael Totten, someone who wrote for the Daily Iowan at the same time I did. Michael has been out of the "writing business" for a while, but hopes to get back into it. By the looks of what he has done for FrontPage, he shouldn't have much trouble. This first one is a review of the book Koba the Dread. The second is a liberal case for war against Saddam. If you don't read them, I'll....well, I'll....well, I won't really do anything because I can't. But I might not like you very much.
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WHY SO FEW CONSERVATIVES IN ACADEMIA?
Arch Pundit has a post on that question. Quite interesting. He asked me some questions about it, and I subsequently sent a reply. Hopefully, he'll post it later.
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DAILY DIATRIBE: ANN RHODES HAS A BOYFRIEND
Ann Rhodes is the former administrator in charge or athletics at the University of Iowa who is blamed by many, including me, for playing a key role in screwing up the hire of Bobby Stoops as football coach. But you wouldn’t know that from this recent column by John Carlson.
A Hawkeye fan called one of the radio stations the other day and said, "Yep, that Kirk Ferentz is the best coach anywhere. Built us the top program in the country."
Could be. But you know who isn't saying a word about the best college football story in America this year?
That would be Ann Rhodes, the university administrator who headed the committee that hired Ferentz four years ago.
Ah, yes, let’s give Rhodes loads of credit for hiring of Kirk Ferentz. Let’s make it look like his hiring was intentional, largely the work of the brilliant Rhodes. Never mind that he was the default choice after Oklahoma snatched away Stoops.
Hawk boosters - the people who write the big checks - wanted her head on a stick. For real. A girl should know her place, they said. Hire the volleyball coach, if you want. Leave football to the experts. You know. Men.
Oh, those men! What do they know? How embarrassing that a woman was smarter than them when it comes to sports. Now that Ferentz has had an 11-1 season and guaranteed at least a share of the Big Ten title for the Iowa football team, Rhodes looks so prescient.
Bobby Who?
You know, that guy who is the coach at Oklahoma. All he’s done in four years there is win one Big 12 Championship and one National Championship, not to mention that he has Oklahoma on verge of another Big 12 championship this year. Given that, there’s probably "men" out there who still think Rhodes messed up. But they’re just stupid, lumbering cavemen.
Carlson continues his love-fest with Rhodes by portraying her as a victim:
Rhodes would stop by the Hy-Vee on her way home from work and a superfan would tell her she's a dumb broad who doesn't know a jock strap from a package of pork chops. Another genius said, "You're the most hated woman in Iowa."
The e-mails and phone calls were the worst. Anonymous, of course. Nasty, personal stuff you can't put in the paper.
Mostly, it was because Hawk fans didn't get their beloved Bobby Stoops, the former Hawkeye player and assistant coach, who took the Oklahoma job.
Since Carlson neglects to do it, let’s try to set the record straight on the Bobby Stoops matter. In late 1998, Stoops had indicated that he would like to come to Iowa, having been a former coach under Iowa legend Hayden Fry. Iowa’s athletic director, Bob Bowlsby, indicated that Stoops was his first choice. But after meeting with Stoops, Bowlsby apparently told him that he had to confer with the Iowa hiring committee first. Who was instrumental in imposing a hiring committee? Good ol’ Ann Rhodes!
Over at Oklahoma, Athletic Director Joe Castiglione was able to conduct the search without a committee. Since there was no committee to confer with, Castiglione was able to offer the Oklahoma job to Stoops before Iowa could make an offer. Stoops jumped at the sure thing.
But that doesn’t stop Carlson from praising Rhodes even further:
The Hawkeye world wanted Rhodes stuffed in a gunny sack and thrown off the Burlington Street bridge.
Rhodes, who has a dandy sense of humor, managed to put a smile on things.
"The only thing saving me right now is that Iowa City has an ordinance barring a gallows from being built on the Pentacrest," she said. "From what I hear, if some central Iowa fans could, they'd be fighting over my jewelry while I swung."
Nor does it prevent to Carlson from performing what is a surefire nomination for "White-Wash of the Year Award":
Rhodes, who has degrees in nursing and law, ended up resigning as vice president of university relations and the administrator in charge of athletics. The griping over the Ferentz hiring almost certainly had something to do with the switch.
Rhodes is now teaching a few classes and working in the office of university counsel.
Uh, what led to Rhodes resignation was a series of racial incidents at the University of Iowa Dental School in early 2000. For three weeks the University was on edge as someone sent threatening emails to minority students at the dental school. The incidents culminated in a bomb threat which briefly closed down the dental school. The speculation was that "an angry-white male" was behind the threats. In the end, the perpetrator was a black, female student named Tarsha Claiborne.
So what got Rhodes into trouble? Why, it was that "dandy sense of humor"!
Responding to a reporter's question of whether she was surprised by the race and gender of the perpetrator, she "humorously" said: "I figured it was going to be a white guy between 25 and 55 because they're the root of most evil … but what do I know?"
Rhodes resigned as vice president because she had "opened mouth and inserted foot." The Ferentz hiring had nothing to do with it.
As you well know, I've often complained of the knee-jerk leftism of the Des Moines Register editorial page. Well, it's all on display in Carlson's column: a victimized woman who is ultimately vindicated. That's the only reason this piece of revisionist schlock made it into print.
If you're inclined to give Mr. Carlson a piece of your mind, here is his email: carlsonj@news.dmreg.com.
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BASTARDS!
Bus blast kills at least 11 in Jerusalem.
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KRUGMAN TAKEDOWNS
Ah, they're back. The Krugman Truth Squad takes down Kruggy's latest, and so does Terrible Claw. And Hoy asks the essential question.
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SPEAKING OF PROGNOSTICATING
Tax increases here we come! This story suggests that the promise 2 percent increase in school funding may fall victim to the state's projected $400 million shortfall. Yet Governor Vilsack apparently wants to keep the increase in place:
Democratic Gov. Tom Vilsack has not announced his budget proposals for the 2004 fiscal year. Cynthia Eisenhauer, director of the Iowa Department of Management, said Vilsack had no plans to change the 2 percent increase in state aid for schools, which was set in the last legislative session.
The article tries to soothe the worries of taxpayers:
Both Vilsack and lawmakers have ruled out raising taxes as a solution for the state's fiscal troubles.
Yeah, right!
If anyone wants to bet that my previous predictions of tax increases will prove wrong, please let me know.
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I WAS RIGHT!
Showing why you should never doubt the prognosticating power of the Hogberg, the Des Moines Register has given its solution to a report showing that Iowa lags on women's issues:
Having fewer women in elected positions is probably both a cause and a result of Iowa's average ratings. Legislative agendas are shaped by elected representatives. The result? High-quality, affordable child care isn't a serious item at the Statehouse. As the incarceration rate for Iowa women grows faster than for men, that issue gets inadequate attention. Measures that matter to women, like mandatory sexual-assault training for police and health-care professionals, aren't given preference.
Iowa is caught in a vicious cycle of having fewer women in power and rating mediocre on women's issues. Obviously Iowa's state agency devoted to the status of women isn't having much of an impact.
Yep, government is the answer. Told ya.
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Wednesday, November 20, 2002
MS. CRUNCHY GRANOLA PANTS GETS FAMOUS
Well, Jane Yoder-Short made today's version of Best of the Web. (Scroll down to "Shop Till Saddam Drops".) However, there was no mention of my contest. Hmmm....that whistling sound you hear is my ego deflating.
UPDATE: Geitner Simmons has more. Thanks, G.
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MALLOY MELTDOWN?
Croooow Blog notes that Mike Malloy may have bats loose in his belfry.
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DAILY DIATRIBE: WINNERS OF THE MS. CRUNCHY GRANOLA PANTS CONTEST!
Thanks to many links including those from Henry Hanks, N.Z. Bear, Overtaken by Events, Michele, and, of course, Glenn Reynolds, this turned into a real contest. (Click here to see what the contest was about.) By my count I had over 70 entries. You folks really came through! Thank you very much. Reading the comments section at the end of the post is an unfettered joy. If you haven’t visited it yet, do so. The downside is that there are a lot of good ones that didn't make my final cut.
Eric Olsen also gave me a link. He tried to contribute, but then gave up saying "Ah, I can't do anything right." Well, they weren’t that bad, but they didn’t make the final cut. Of course, that probably means that Eric will never speak to me again, ban me from Blogcritics, and never let me take his gorgeous 18-year-old daughter on a date. Alas, sacrifices must be made.
Bill Quick linked to the contest too. Of course, if his contribution doesn’t make the final cut, I’ll probably never get another link from him. Which makes me wonder if this was such a good idea….
Ah hell, I’m gonna quit being a wussy and make my decisions. I’ve narrowed it down to one-fourth of the 70, which works out to about eighteen. If you didn’t get picked, that doesn’t mean yours wasn’t funny. I laughed at most of them, and as I suggested above, a visit to the comments section is well worth it. But let's get on with it.
There were a few on drain cleaners. I thought this was the best:
I pick up a bottle of Liquid Plumber and hope that we can clear the drain of happiness, clogged for so long with the hair of American oppression. Can we let the waters of hope flow freely to those stuck in the sewers of despair?
-Nova Akropola
There were some smart-ass ones:
I pick up a package of Lady Bic Razors. And then I remember I don't use razors.
-michele
I pick up a bottle of 30 year old Glenfarclas and pour myself a glass. I'm sorry. What were you saying?
-Richard
Some, of course, focused on oil. I enjoyed these the best:
I pick up a three pack of Dove Soap on sale for $3.19, (yeah me) and think about the itching between my shoulder blades caused by dry skin, and wonder if Saddam too has an itching between his shoulderblades, seeing as that is where the first bullet will probably enter during the massive-illegal-chickenhawk-international bullying and rape of the Iraqi people that probably ends in nuclear war when it's just for oil and lumber and making Amerika a fascist state because Cheney is an evil warmonger go Kyoto Protocol Wellstone was our JFK Bush was selected!
-Jim
I pick up a package of Always Maxipads and hope that, one day, America, too, will spread her wings and soar above all of the pollution and waste. Preventing the leakage of one more drop of oil.
-Matt
Then there were ones that were scary because they sounded so much like Ms. Curnchy Granola Pants:
I pick up a packet of yeast and hope the next rising of the sun will see all the peoples of the world breaking the bread of peace.
-Harvard@Cal
I pick up a Glade(r) Extra Outlet Scented Oil Air Freshener and the Hope that we can remove the stench of burning oil from our noses. It's black clouds are blocking us from seeing the light of peace, and driving us to war with Iraq! Can we not clear the air betweens us?
-Kyle
There were a few that bent the rules and used the metaphor to praise the war against Saddam. But since this is my blog, I let a few get away with it:
I pick up a can of motor oil and I think about how this stuff is really going to flow after the war and after Saddam is gone. I think about how the inflow of oil money and aid to Iraq will liberate its people and unleash the dominos of democracy in Arab lands. I am happy for Arab people.
-Bill
Quite a few used products related to the intestinal area:
I pick up some pepto-bismol, and think of Colon Powell. How many more bad decisions will pass down the chain of command and through him before he becomes a bulwark against the flow of American imperialism, as he was meant to be. I then look down my pants leg at my shoes, and I think of lady liberty with her foot mired in the sewers of Republican triumphalism.
-Max
I pick up a tube of Preparation H, hoping that one day world leaders like Kofi Annan and Jacques Chirac will be able to remove the large obstructions from their ass, which just happen to be their heads.
-Jay Caruso
I picked up a package of Rolaids and some hope that we Americans would overcome our need for gas. And oil. Musn't forget the oil. I'll get some Clearasil for the oil.
-Brian Swisher
There was the bit loopy:
I pick up some orange juice and I think of a tasty screwdriver, then I think of all the loose screws on the American left. I think President Bush is like the Bernhard Goetz of foreign policy, telling a scewdriver carrying lad that he doesn't look too bad, right before he shoots Saddam again.
Mmmmm, screwdrivers.
-The Comedian
And many employed food in their metaphors:
I pick up a package of Green Giant frozen peas and hope that America will become a jolly green giant and appease the terrorists who are forced to lash out against American hegemony.
-John Little
I pick up a package of pork spareribs and think, "Mmmm! Pork!". Then I berate myself for my typically American ethnocentrism. Why couldn't my ancestors have been more diverse?
-Angela
I pick up a case of Bush's Baked Beans and pray for the day we fully harness the power of the wind, so we will not be tempted to fight wars for oil.
-LB
One even got Cheese Whiz into it:
I pick up a can of Cheeze Whiz. I hope that our dated slogans from the 60's, when put under pressure by the harsh, metallic, consumer-industrial-media culture of today, will be preserved and will squirt out to the joy of the children of the future, turning the unleavened bread of sacrifice forced on them by their puritan parents into an instant celebration of life, that is fun at snack time, meal time, or just any old time.
-Nigel Ray
And my favorite food metaphor:
At the grocery store I picked up a can of Chock-Full-O-Nuts coffee & thought about the anti-war movement.
-red state inhabitant
Last is my favorite metaphor. This one is not funny at all, but very poignant. I like it so much because it demonstrates how columns like Jane Yoder-Short’s trivialize what this struggle is all about. It’s from N.Z. Bear:
I went to the store and picked up nothing at all. Because that's what two thousand, seven hundred and ninety-seven people who were in the World Trade Center were able to buy today.
Thank you to everyone who participated.
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WHO ARE THE TRIAL LAWYERS?
Well, it didn’t take long for the Des Moines Register to to parrot the liberal line on the new homeland security bill. The new bill is supposedly riddled with favors for special interest groups like the pharmaceutical companies, which receive exemptions from lawsuits for vaccines. According to the Register:
What does national security have to do with protecting drugmakers?
Some lawmakers say pharmaceutical companies need additional protection from lawsuits because America depends on them for vaccines to protect Americans from biological terrorism.
More likely, the gift to the industry was more about lawmakers owing the drug industry a little something. After pharmaceutical companies dumped millions into political campaigns supporting candidates this past election, the rider scratches their backs. It keeps some lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies out of state courts and channels them through a federal program that caps compensation for an injured person at $250,000.
This could to save the drugmakers millions.
Or compensate them for the millions they bankrolled.
Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that drug companies are going to be called on to make new smallpox vaccines? And that previous lawsuits, brought by that "public interest" groups known as trial-lawyers, have done serious damage to vaccine makers. According to John Stossel:
Trial lawyers sued over the Diphtheria-Pertussis-Tetanus Vaccine, claiming that it wasn't as safe as it might have been. Although I suspect this case rested on junk science, I don't know what the truth is. But assuming these lawyers were right, and that they've made the DPT vaccine a little safer, are we safer? When they sued, there were twenty companies in America researching and making vaccines. Now there are four. Many got out of the business because they said, "We don't make that much on vaccines. Who needs this huge liability?" Is America better off with four vaccine makers instead of twenty? No way.
Funny how the editorial doesn’t even mention the trial lawyers.
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GOVERNMENT NEEDS TO DO MORE
That's surely going to be the lesson gleaned from this story.
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A PROTEST AGAINST….
….Pierre Pierce and Steve Alford. Gotcha! For details, go here and here.
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Tuesday, November 19, 2002
GOP, TAX CUTS, AND SPENDING
Brad DeLong and Max Sawicky have some interesting give and take on Republican approaches to fiscal policy. Not sure I agree; maybe a subject for Thursday’s Daily Diatribe.
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WINDS OF WAR
Steven Green lays out what’s coming.
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AUGUSTA AND THE NY TIMES
Jay Caruso has an opinion about the New York Times editorial urging Tiger Woods to boycott the Masters. There is also a pretty lively discussion going in the comments section. Terrible Claw has more, and Count de Money makes an excellent point.
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DAILY DIATRIBE: THE MS. CRUNCHY GRANOLA PANTS CONTEST!
Yes, Ms. Crunchy Granola Pants, a.k.a. Jane Yoder-Short, recently made another appearance in the Iowa City Press-Citizen. For those of you unfamiliar with Ms. Yoder-Short, let’s just say that she has never quite recovered from the 1960s.
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on Ms. Crunchy Granola Pants, because her columns are usually so stilted and silly that taking them on is the intellectual equivalent of kicking kittens. Yet her most recent column is just too good to pass up. In this one, she talks about shopping for a "Relief Kit for Iraq." She uses each item she purchases as a metaphor for the likely war against Saddam and (of course) how terrible America is. For example:
I pick up a bottle of shampoo and some hope that conditions in Iraq will soften. Life for the ordinary person has been hard. Can human compassion reach across borders and begin to heal the hardships of sanctions?
I pick up a box of powdered laundry detergent and some hope that we are willing to see our own dirty laundry. Who sold Iraq her weapons? Who has used weapons of mass destruction? Can we learn from our soiled history?
I was inclined to dismiss this with a hearty laugh until I read this gem:
I pick up a package sanitary pads and some hope for a new cycle of peace. Life has its cycles and we seem stuck in a violent whirlwind. Can we hope for a new season of reconciliation?
I’ll wait right here until you are ready to pick yourself up off the floor.
Done? Okay, then let’s get onto the contest. I would like you to come up with your own metaphor. It must begin "I picked up…." The item can be anything you find in a supermarket, department store, hardware store, or auto-parts store. You can even use computer related items. (I’m flexible on this part.) The metaphor, however, must either relate to some aspect of the war against Saddam, or about how awful America is. Here are my two contributions:
1. I pick up a package of toilet paper and worry about nuclear waste. I hope that someday America can wipe away all the waste it produces.
2. I pick up a package of condoms and hope that there will be no more stock-market bubbles. I hope that we can protect ourselves from another stock-market bubble bursting.
Got the idea? Then go to it. Make as many entries as you like. Either type your metaphor in the comments section at the bottom of this post, or send me an email at dpokerhog@mchsi.com. I'll post the best ones in tomorrow's Diatribe.
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HIGHER STANDARDS
If high school athletes were forced to stop playing sports because they couldn’t keep a "C" average, wouldn’t that hurt their self-esteem?
The Des Moines Register doesn’t seem to care. In an editorial that I largely agree with, the editorialists argue that:
….the state board should mandate that to participate in sports, students statewide must pass all classes. Members of the board are appointed by the governor and approved by the Senate to be leaders in education. Leading means setting standards based on what is the best policy for all Iowa students.
However, the Register wobbles on requiring a "C" grade for athletes:
However, even requiring that students must merely pass all courses to participate in sports may be insufficient. School district policies like Waterloo's [which requires a C average] should be carefully examined. If holding students to a higher standard is beneficial, and drop-out rates haven't increased, state officials might consider raising the bar even higher for Iowa student-athletes.
No, no. Let’s go all the way. Passing isn’t enough. Demand a "C" average.
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IOWA GOP SHAKE-UP?
Another interesting column by David Yepsen. Iowa Republicans have some repairs to make.
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Monday, November 18, 2002
LEFT WING CRACK-UP
Pundits on the right can't seem to get enough of the left absolutely losing it over the elections that are now almost two weeks old. Rob Bartley has this in the Wall Street Journal, and Charles Krauthammer has more in the Weekly Standard.
Methinks it may be time to start following Bush's "no gloat" rule.
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MORE BAD NEWS ON TAXES
Looks like taxing internet transactions is coming in the guise of sales tax "uniformity." Juan Gato has the proper attitude.
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DAILY DIATRIBE: THE REPUBLICAN REALIGNMENT
Are the Republicans about to become the dominant majority in American politics? Check out what I have to say in the American Prowler.
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MAKE LOVE, NOT WAR
The peace movement is stripped naked. Literally. Thanks to Andrew Sullivan.
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WHILE I’M ON THE SUBJECT….
There are plenty of other things wrong with that editorial in addition to what I noted in the post below.
First, note the hyperbole in this passage:
This places an unconscionable burden of debt on many students who are working their way through college. Yes, enrollment is up at the state universities and, yes, they are a bargain compared to many others. That still doesn't make it right to make the schools so costly to attend.
"Unconscionable"? Are they going to be eating crackers and baloney for the rest of their life? While higher tuition is a bruden, the Register makes it seem as thought college students are about to embark on the Long March.
This didn't happen by accident. It was a choice. Iowa chose to go on a prison-building binge.
And the state also went on Medicaid spending binge, a smaller-classroom-size spending binge, and a teacher-pay-raise spending binge. Funny how the Register presents it as a choice between higher college tuition and more criminals being locked up.
Furthermore, if the corrections system is so awash in money, how come the Correction director is complaining about more budget-cut induced layoffs? Do the editorialists read their own newspaper?
Next:
Blame the Legislature.
But not the Governor, apparently.
Finally:
Tell lawmakers this is not how Iowans want to spend their money.
You mean most Iowans would rather see more criminals on the street than college students paying higher tuition? How does the Register know that? Given that most Iowans don’t have kids in college, but all are potential crime victims, shouldn’t the Register be a bit more cautious?
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THE 'ROOT' CAUSES OF CRIME
The Des Moines Register editorial page has done it again! In this editorial, they write:
Declining state support for the universities is occurring not only because the economy is slow. It's also occurring because Iowa decided to lock up more people for longer stretches. Even though the crime rate is low.
When you view crime as a function of poverty, lack of jobs, racism, etc., you seldom see the connection between a high prison population and a low crime rate.
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AND IF YOU NEEDED MORE BAD NEWS ON TAXES….
Corrections director W.L. "Kip" Kautzky has warned about the likelihood of laying off more prison workers.
More bad news about budget cuts is surely on the way. How soon before the Des Moines Register editorial page calls for someone to take the courageous step of calling for tax increases? Not long.
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GOING WOBBLY ON TAXES
Yep, here we go. Speaker-to-be of the Iowa House, Christopher Rants, has offered a compromise on the local-option sales tax:
[Rants] favors creating a pool of money from all counties approving the 1 percent sales tax and distributing it to school districts from those counties on a per-pupil basis.
If Rants yields to the whining and carping of those who say the way the tax money is distributed isn’t fair, I wonder what else he might yield on.
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